We Remember

February is a month of remembering for our family.

Of Paden and I’s eight total grandparents, three of them passed away in the month of February and one of them was born in February.

Now, I can’t remember what I walked into a room to get on several different occasions during any given day, but for whatever goofy reason, birthdays and dates of death are things that are permanently ingrained in what’s left of my mom brain…go figure.

Paden’s Grandpa Biel passed away on February 8, 2020.

My Grandpa T. - February 15, 2022.

His Grandma Biel - February 19, 2023.

My Grandpa B.’s birthday is today, actually, February 19th. He would be 102 years old now if he were still here.

I watched his tribute video that we made for his funeral this morning. Of course, I cried through most of it. The songs get me more than the pictures do, I think. The ones we picked were just…I can’t explain it, IYKYK. They weren’t so much tears of grief, although, there’s still a bit of that that lingers. But it’s hard to be too sad when you have the pictures to prove that a life was so well lived for 98 years right there in front of you. I have 30 years worth of memories of my own that those pictures stir up and bring back to life, too. I spent A LOT of time with Grandpa B. I was their only grandchild and he doted on me, there’s no denying it. He didn’t spoil me though, like most are quick to assume. I do remember him swatting me once when I was at their house. I don’t know what had gotten into me, because I was a fairly obedient and well-behaved child, but that day, I’d been ornery or sassy enough to my grandma that she told grandpa and he did go ahead and discipline me. I don’t remember if I cried or not. I just remember him walking out the front door after he did it and I was left standing there feeling sad because I knew I’d disappointed him with my behavior, which wasn’t a good feeling, even as young as I would have been at the time.

My tears kind of upset our youngest daughter, who isn’t quite 4-years-old, but the older ones are used to it by now and explained to her that it’s okay to cry when you miss someone. We’re lucky we have the memories of the relationships that we had and the love that was shared to make us miss them that much.

I could fill up a lot of blog posts trying to explain who my grandparents all were and the bond I shared with them, especially my grandpas, but I won’t even attempt it. My husband, man of few words that he is, had the same sort of bond with his Biel grandparents and his Granma Owens and wouldn’t take near that many words or that much time to sum it up. Paden lost his Grandpa Owens in a tragic harvest accident on his 5th birthday, so he barely even remembers much about Spohn. His Grandma Biel was the ultimate example to him of what a devoted wife, mother, and homemaker looks like. I’ve gotten a couple compliments from him throughout our 10 years of being married that have compared my efforts to that of hers, and man, I know it’s probably the highest form of praise I’ll ever get and it’s an honor. Truly, it is.

Both of us were so blessed to have such wonderful examples to watch and learn to follow as we grew up. Our children have the same and we tell them often how lucky they are that they got to know and have relationships with 5 out of 8 of their great-grandparents. Not many can say that…I know I can’t. All of mine were long gone by the time I was born and Paden only knew one of his great-grandparents.

So, in February, I feel like I do a lot of remembering. I always leak out some tears for what no longer is anymore. Mostly though, I feel a lot of gratitude for the example shown, the love poured out, the prayers said, the legacies left behind and to carry on, and the beauty of the memories…For What It’s Worth.